They have to do what? Part two

OK so after the traumatic talk about having to get the (nuggets checked) as my friend Tami calls them. He was ready to face his fears and head to the doctors. I asked my sister to come along for reinforcements. Since daddy who was in the first place not making things any better had to work.
Now Jr. Chef has been a comedian since the day he was born. He is just like my dad. They are two of a kind. People with the ability to always make you laugh. People with good hearts and great spirits. Now this is the first time that my sister went along with me to an appointment. So she was not prepared for what he was about to throw her way. But yes I am an expert and the doctors and nurses know him all too well. But you would think they would prepare themselves a little better.

Arrive at doctors office:

Nurse: Please step on the scale

Jr. Chef: One foot on, One foot off. Holding himself up against the wall. You name it so he doesn't give the correct reading.

Nurse: Come on now you know what you have to do.

Momma: If you don't get your but on that scale and stop playing around. I am going to get daddy on the phone.

Jr. Chef: Standing like a soldier

Nurse: OK let's measure your height. Please take off your shoes.

Jr. Chef: Walking over to the measuring section ignoring her and trying to be measured with his shoes on.

Nurse: Shoes off please

Jr. Chef: Yes but if I leave my shoes on I'll be taller.

Nurse: Yes I know but that is not the correct reading

Jr. Chef: Darn

Nurse: You are 5' 1 1/2"

Jr. Chef: Wow I am almost 6 feet.

Nurse: No not really

Jr. Chef: Look just work with me here. I am looking into my future.

Momma: Just laughing in the corner shaking her head and giving him the Momma Look. Yea you know the look. Like pull that crap again and I am gonna get ya.

Now in the room:

Jr. Chef: OK so what exactly has to be done today?

Momma: I already told you this.

Jr. Chef: I want to hear it out of her mouth the mean things she is going to do to me

Nurse: Well I think you are here for shots and a physical

Jr. Chef: SHOTS??? What do you mean shots? I didn't know I had to get shots!! ( LIAR)

Momma: Don't you start again.

Nurse: Didn't you know what you were coming for?

Jr. Chef: Nope my mom doesn't tell me anything!!

Everyone is laughing at this clown that has appeared in the room.

Jr. Chef: Well how many shots?

Nurse: Well it depends. It can be one or two?

Jr. Chef: Or do I have options of how many shots I can get?

Nurse: No lol it depends on what you are required to have and what you may need to renew.

Jr. Chef: Well you just said I have options. That doesn't sound like it.

Nurse: The doctor will be in any moment

Doctor walks in

Doctor: I see that you are here for your physical.

Jr. Chef: yeah OK so what does that mean to you?

Doctor: Well we have to take care of your shots. We also have to check you and make sure everything is OK.

Jr. Chef: What is everything?

Momma: Speaking to doctor telling her that I had advised him what was to come.

Jr. Chef: Do you think I am going to let you in my pants?

Doctor: Mouth dropped well I need to make sure you are OK it doesn't hurt.

Jr. Chef: How do you know it doesn't hurt? Do you have nuggets being checked by a woman doctor?

Doctor: No but I know I am not hurting you. (Explains the procedure)

Jr. Chef: Well if it is that easy then I can go in there myself and tell you how they are doing.

Doctor: It doesn't work that way.

Momma: Giving him the stare

Jr. Chef: Well who better than me to know if my nuggets are feeling well!!!

Needless to say he did get everything done. He gave her a hard time with the breathing, the back straightness checking, the walking etc etc.

Don't get me started how long it took to get the needle in his arm. For him to say later " wow I worried for nothing".

Yes people a 15-20 appointment lasted a little over an hour.

The award for how to beat up your doctor and mom at that same time goes to JR. CHEF!!!!

They have to do what? Part one

OK so school is about to be back in session. I had to take Jr. Chef to get his shots for school. Since he is entering 7th grade it is a requirement. Well he was acting SO tough when I told him. But when the day got closer for his doctor appointment. That was another story. All the questions started.
Jr. Chef: How many shots?
Jr. Chef: Is it going to hurt?
Jr. Chef: What else are they going to do to me?

Well I try to be as honest as possible with him.

Momma: Not sure how many shots.
Momma: It will feel like a pinch if you cooperate.
Momma: They are going to have to give you a physical.

Jr. Chef: OK so what is a physical?

Momma: Well they have to check you all over.

Jr. Chef: What exactly is all over???

Momma: Well you know!! All over like all over ( eyebrows raising)

Jr. Chef: Do you mean they are going to touch my N**s?

Momma: Well hmmm hmmmm yes they are

Jr. Chef: DADDY!!!! Did mommy tell you they are going to be touching me????

Dad: Hey it's a part of life.

Jr. Chef: I don't want anyone checking my privates!!

Dad: Yeah that is what you say now!!

Ok Moms now you know where I am going with this!. Why is it that men think it is so funny?
We have to deal with the kids freaking out about going to the doctors. We have to deal with them having someone checking the shhhh privates. We have to explain to them that it is different and that they need to be checked for their health.

But here comes dad with that " son you may not like it now. But believe me when you are older"...

Now of course he is not talking about the doctor. And my son is old enough to know what he is talking about.

Jr. Chef: Geeze Daddy you are so disgusting!!

Momma: Come on help me out here! (Walking away shaking your head)