Sunday, December 27, 2009

Frustrated

Hello everyone! I hope you all have a had a wonderful Christmas and Happy Holidays!
I know that I have not posted in a while. But I am just frustrated and needed to get some things off my chest and now you will also know why I have not posted. See as I have mentioned before I suffer from sever migraines and I am not sure if I mentioned that I have mini strokes when I get them. Yes I do! Lately I have been really having some serious migraines and this has become a daily thing with me. They make me miserable. Nothing seems to help anymore and I am just tired of dealing with this pain. I started having migraines when I was about 8 years old. So you figure for over 20 years I have been dealing with these things. I get so frustrated when I think of having to spend the rest of my life living with these migraines. Besides suffering from migraines. I also suffer from Fibromyalgia,Chronic Fatigue, Arthritis and Insomnia. Well if you know what these illnesses are then you know along with them come a lot of other issues. Each day that I can have without a pain is truly a BLESSED DAY. It saddens me because of these things. I cannot live my life the way I want. I cannot be out in the heat because I am allergic to the sun and get really bad rashes. It also causes my migraines. I cannot be in the cold because once again they cause my migraines. When it is going to rain. Yup you guessed it I get bad migraines and those are the worst because my Arthritis acts up and my next hurts really bad. The reason I decided to share the dark side of Baking Momma is because I have been absent a lot and there are really reasons why. Today I sit and type this with another migraine. This is why I decided to share my story. See Jr. Chef also suffers from migraines and it breaks my heart to see him when he hurts. He also has Asthma. Which luckily only comes with weather and season change and is not something that we have to deal with everyday. But he is the reason why I want to make some changes for my 2010. See I have worked my whole life and have also not kept jobs due to illnesses or had to leave because of illness. I dont want that for my son. I dont want him to suffer the way I have suffered. I am determined to start a successful business one way or another. Something that I can have my son take over when he is old enough if he wants. Something that I know he can lean on. I know how hard it is to keep a job when you are ill. I know how healthy I look to everyone else and they do not understand the issues I have.

I want to know. Is there something in your life you are frustrated with? Is there something that you would like to change for the new year? Are there things that have held you back and you are tired and want to take your life back?

There has to be something out there. I wake each day with a feeling that I have a greater purpose than what I am doing. I know each night when I lay that I feel there is something missing and I think of all the other people who have greater issues than I and can get through them. I wonder if I am looking at things the wrong way? I am not sure. But I am sure that I am ready for a change. I am ready to make that list ans start crossing off the things that I have accomplished while I am here on this Earth. I know I am ready to fulfill all the things I feel I was meant to do while here!

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